Watching Porn In Reverse by Scott Simmons

I’m confused I watch those funny pictures with naked men and ladies.
Why does the man’s hot dog have to go in and out so much?

Does the mouth between the ladies legs have teeth Is he afraid of it?
Or is she afraid of his lollipop in the back?

At least the pretty ladies like to suck on cherries for a few minutes before...
SPITTING them out! How rude would anyone have to be to spit out cream candy?

Those people are all strange but at least I’m a virgin so seriously why not just......
Cut off my head staple my nipples to my chest and convert my body into a race car.

Scott Simmons has masturbaited across the entire globe (Everywhere inside of his room) to a variety of culturally sensitive tentacle "Films" to conduct his scientific research for uncovering the existence of alternate phallic shaped universes hidden inside the world of Teletubbies. He can often be found sulking about naked locker rooms with ziplock bags collecting the left over pubic hair of hung specimens to put into his hair zoo for everyone locked in his basement to see.