Saturday, July 6, 2019

How To Make Friends Fast by Scott Simmons

It is a little known fact that the word friend translates in Latin as:
That Guy who butt fucked a Goat at Kmart while Joni Mitchell watched in the corner.

Or whatever gibberish those dorks in dresses thought of before youtube was invented.

Anyways the point is if you want to make a friend then you need to hop on one foot and pee on a stranger while chanting the sensual words of Bob Ross.

For there are no bad mistakes just happy little accidents and that’s why I was born as a highlander suckling upon the warm teet of Mel Gibson.






Scott Simmons is a sheep herder from Shitkicker Texan with dreams of becoming the first aquatic Dolphin prostitute to walk on the moon in a leather gimp suit to fight off the upcoming P-Diddy invasion force on Delta 7 Vibrator Tango.  

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