Saturday, August 10, 2019

Personality Checklist by Scott Simmons

What I’m not:
1. Smart
2. Likable
3. A Good Person

What I am:
1. A professional Asshole




Scott Simmons was last seen passed out on your grandma's porch after he ran through a drive through naked in an attempt to order food for his imaginary friend who secretly thought that he was a douchebag and claimed that he only hung out with Scott "Because of the free shit". Scott has also been seen hiding in the back seat of several vans heading to Disneyland.






-

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

I Believe in Meat by Susan Isla Tepper

So my sister sets me up with this girl who just got out of the loony bin. I’m not shitting you. Ginny is the girl’s name. A situation str...

  • BLACKBALLED by Cindy Rosmus
    1979 “You see that?” I asked my roommate, Juanita. “Or am I crazy?” As Juanita peered around the dining hall, Katie got closer.   “’Ju...
  • Chemical Exposure by Ian Hanks
        I grew up on the coast of Maine, both of my parents were professional artists and under their guidance, I learned to draw and paint at a...
  • Patti Smith, My Mom and Me by Kevin M. Hibshman
    It was 1978. I was fourteen and floundering in a small town , nowhere, USA. I spent most of my time shuffling between being bored sick at sc...