Punch Me In The Face by Scott Simmons

You ever wonder why the garden gnome Neo Nazi party is plotting against you?
Or wonder why your willie gets scared and retreats during cold weather?

Then again am I truly writing this or is just it being telepathically transmitted as verbal syphilis straight into your tight little eye sockets?

I do but that also might be because I was dropped on my head as a baby 2,008 times.
Or because I huffed glue everyday and only watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S until I was 43.

So let’s just get into our space ship and fly into the badlands of Kmart together before I cum all over the back seat of your Honda Civic that’s mocking me.

Scott Simmons is a professional douchebag taster living inside the deep sweaty ass crack of space and time. His work has been featured in Anal Fister 7 and The Rolling Boner. He spends most of his free time naked/high at Walmart Parking lots.