Beer, Fish & the Morning After by James Babbs

all four of us bought beer
so there was plenty to go around
T.J. was living with his brother
in a two-bedroom apartment
but his brother was gone for the weekend
so T.J. said we could all spend the night
we were all young guys and
didn’t have anything better to do
so we sat around drinking
playing up and down the river
until we were all pretty drunk
and somebody said
we should go get something to eat
I finished my beer and
let the can fall on the floor
we walked down to Steak ’n’ Shake
which was just a few blocks away
trying not to make any noise
but we were probably way too loud
because when you’re drunk
no matter what you do
you always think you’re being quiet
I’m sure it was the same thing
when we were in the restaurant
but nobody said anything to us
before we finished eating
T.J. said
we should go to Wal-Mart
and buy some fish
I said fish?
yeah said T.J.
didn’t you ever have a pet fish
when you were a kid?
I had some fish sticks
said Joe
and we all laughed
I said
what the fuck kind of fish
are we gonna buy?
how about some gold fish?
said Steve
no said T.J.
you want a beta fish
and we must’ve been getting really loud
because the waitress came over
and asked us
if we needed anything else
Steve said
how about your phone number?
and it made the waitress laugh
she said
I might be old enough to be your mother
I said no
I don’t think so
he’s older than he looks
she brought us our checks and
we all chipped in
and gave her a big tip
Steve didn’t want to leave the money on the table
so he went and handed it to her
while we waited for him outside
Wal-Mart was only a couple of blocks down the street
so we started walking
I was feeling pretty good
but wasn’t nearly as drunk
after getting something to eat
Joe told us his uncle had a piranha at one time
but Joe said
he didn’t know it at first
his uncle kept putting other fish in the tank
and they kept disappearing
it took his uncle three or four times
before he, finally, figured it out
Joe said
his uncle named the fish Mr. Piranha
and that the fish lived a really long time
I don’t like fish
I said
but I eat tuna
sometimes
that’s about it
yeah said T.J.
what’s her name?
Steve said
my mom use to make salmon patties
that shit from a can
god I hated it
whenever she made that
it stunk up the whole house
are we all getting a fish?
T.J. asked
yeah said Joe and Steve
not me I said
I don’t want a fish
you should get a gerbil
said Steve
and he tried to punch me in the arm
Joe said
I don’t think Wal-Mart has gerbils
hey, I know said Steve
we should all buy a fish
and a bottle of tartar sauce
I said okay
I’ll get the tartar sauce
I don’t know
how long we were in Wal-Mart
but I’m sure the guy in pets
was glad to see us go
the lady at the checkout didn’t say anything
when I paid for the tartar sauce
after the others had bought their fish
but we all started laughing
before we made it out of the store
the guys were carrying their fish
in plastic bags filled with water
none of us had thought about a fish bowl
until we got back to the apartment
T.J. pulled these big glasses out of the cupboard
and they all poured their fish into them
I told them
I was ready for another beer
so we all had a few more
before going to sleep
the next morning
we found one of the fish still alive
and another one was dead in its glass
floating on top of the water
the third fish just disappeared
its glass had been tipped over
and the water spilled on the floor
but all of us kept looking around
and we never did find the fish
I left the tartar sauce at the apartment
and T.J. stuck it in the refrigerator
he told me
every time he saw the bottle in there
it reminded him of that night

James Babbs likes the night life but he doesn’t like to boogie.  James has written hundreds of poems and a few short stories over the years and has even had a few of them published.  If you happen to visit the internet you may find something he has written.