Drugs Aren't Always Fun, Kids by Kevin M. Hibshman

Here are a few important health and safety tips:

1.Always make sure you grab the intended prescription bottle.
If you mistakenly ingest your room mate's muscle relaxants instead of your blood pressure
pills, you may notice the following:
Inability to wake up.
Showing up to work wearing two different pairs of shoes.
Blurred vision.
Difficulty in completing a single thought.

2.Monitor your alcohol consumption in public to avoid:
Being unable to reach a bathroom before relieving yourself.
Becoming overly flirtatious which can lead to unforeseen and unwanted situations you are too smashed to apologize for.
Going home with a stranger you discover you loathe as soon as the buzz fades.
Driving home from the bar in a snow storm with someone who has somehow drank twice as much as you did.

3.Never combine rum, whiskey, Kahlua and vodka within the same half an hour as the effects will be startling but highly unpleasant.

4.If the police arrive, try not to converse with them.
5.Don't imbibe alcoholic beverages on the way to the amusement park.

6.You may realize that you have smoked enough medical marijuana when: you cannot see anymore but you're still laughing.
You no longer care about what you're laughing at.
Bright flashes of light begin streaking across the room but no one else sees them.
You hear yourself talking but no longer feel yourself talking.
All of your friends bid you goodnight suddenly and rush out the door.

I hope you will find these tips helpful.

Kevin M. Hibshman has had poems published in many journals and magazines world wide. In addition, he has edited his poetry zine, Fearless, since 1990 and is the author of sixteen chapbooks including Love Sex Death Dreams (Green Bean Press, 2000) and Incessant Shining (Alternating Current, 2011).