I Will Alert The Media by John Patrick Robbins

And let all the so called news outlets know we were never friends to begin with.
As they scratch their heads questioning, who the fuck cares?

Which could destroy a writer's ego in itself just to discover.
The world doesn't revolve around them and there is more to this world than poetry and papercuts.

So as I pen these words dear reader I will let you down easy in this statement.

Like me or hate me I could give a flying fuck either way.
Because opinions are like assholes and the art scene is more toxic than a sewer and smells far worse.

So you may be on your way now.
It's been real and it's been fun.
Least that’s the bullshit I will sell you to get your ass out the door.

What did you expect a fucking gold star and a cookie?

How bout a cheap insult and swift kick in the ass instead.

Bye bye now my darlings.

John Patrick Robbins is possibly the greatest human being since Rasputin.

He now resides as the overseer of the Golden Dawn and when not using his dark powers enjoys stamp collecting and serial killing.

He works as a camp counselor at Camp Crystal Lake where he is hosting a writers retreat for writers he would enjoy murdering.

Where he will drag his critics deep into the woods and paint the forest with their blood.

His work has been oddly rejected by.

Family Circle, Esquire, Jugs, Rolling Stone Magazine, Tiger Beat, This Old Whore House, Better Homes and Gardens, The Village Voice, Serial Killer Quarterly and all of his many ezines due to backroom politics.

He is also currently in training for the 2023 drinking Olympics where he will be defending his title in keg tossing.

He is currently on drugs.

Thank you for reading your a lovely bunch of coconuts.