For a Most Rude Lady from Ancestry.com by Ryan Quinn Flanagan

She said she always wanted to know where she came from.

That was why she signed up.

When the results came back she was surprised to find

that such a large part of her family was French.

She had contacted me because she thought we may

be distant relations.

And I told her I had also signed up even though I hadn’t

because I wanted us to have something to talk about.

Long distance charges are not cheap and she seemed so excited

that when she asked me about my results

I told her they came back 38% Martian

and a majority undecided.

And she got quite angry with me.

Hung up like they used to do back in my

telemarketing cold call

days.

All because I wanted to belong.

I guess that’s the 38% Martian in me.

 Ryan Quinn Flanagan is a male gigolo for hire.  Presently residing along the sunny shores of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where he spends his days drinking discount Tequila and accusing chemtrails of being "sky farts."  His work can be found both in print and online in such joints as: The Rye Whiskey Review, The Dope Fiend Daily, Outlaw Poetry Network, Horror Sleaze Trash, and Under The Bleachers.