Rathnars Excuse Scroll For Missing The Party. By Rathnar Kilbane

 The mighty Rathnar has been hunting the great gnome for years and finally he has taken the bait stepping foot upon Rathnars  shores .

I could smell his putrid stink upon the wind and hear his woman like screaming for miles away .

So even though it hurts the mighty Rathnar to miss the Hallows Eve calibration were I was looking forward to the Roman Olive Oil Orgy .

I must take this opportunity as it has arrived to slay this little gnome so I may attain the great eve of power and feast upon his flesh for there can be only one laureate to stand upon my northern shores .

As he mocks me by stepping foot upon my lands not offering Rathnar gifts of young maidens or some of his service boys .

I would love to roast one over the fire as my wenches sing my praises .

Reading from my scroll puking together like real men and poets .

But no this serpent mocks me .

My legion is on its way and you will not escape me this time.

And to my brothers feast and pillage and open portals to hell and rape the she devils and tell that beast of the Abyss to return Rathnars microwave this mighty device of sorcery I lent him many moons ago..

As Rathnars many wives are tired of not making use of this magic in the great dining hall.

But enough trivial talk I must be off and not allow the mighty gnome to escape to his shabby midwest kingdom.

Tonight I shall bathe in the blood of victory .

Rathnar Kilbane 

Is the poet laureate of Iceland .

His scrolls are housed in the finest wizard's schools across the lands .

Statues are erected and many die happily at his readings to honor him.

He is still currently seeking a publisher for his newest scroll .

Which is really hard to find being he has killed all his previous publisher's. 

His work has been published by.

Sea Hag Quarterly , Time Magazine , Doom And Gloom , Hustler , Vanity Fair , Big Top Publications,  Jugs Magazine and The Dope Fiend Daily .