(I GOT) GOOSED BY TOMMY CHONG By George Schaefer

 

It was a comedy club

and the table

was really close;

three feet from the stage;

seemed like a good thing.



You get the close up view

and can see the comic’s face

and their expressions.



It was Tommy Chong

and he eventually got around

to his doggie routine;

first lifting the leg as if to pee

and then turning into horn dog.



He runs into the crowd

simulating four leg walking

searching for a leg to hump.



Before I realize it,

I find myself getting

Goosed by Tommy Chong;

He’s a rabid dog in heat.



My friends (and the audience)

are howling with laughter.

I just sat there

and passively took it.



I’m thinking, “Thank God

my father’s not alive to see this.”

Surely this moment

inspires pride in any parent.



“Mom, Dad, Guess what happened

at the club last night?”



I got goosed by Tommy Chong

and did nothing about it.

But if he ever

gets elected to the Senate;

I’m taking his ass down.

George Schaefer is a Philly based poet who hides out in a small suburban apartment.  He occasionally utilizes mass transit to visit the city and record poetic observations that he hopes will one day inspire dozens to new heights.  He clings to the hopes that the poetry will speak for itself.