Me and a girlfriend at the time were at a party, when a dude bragged he could suck his own dick. And in a true moment of genius some dumbass shouted, "Prove it."
The room went silent, and most everyone watched in awe as this nutcase proceeded to kick back on the couch and do just that. I didn't view the whole show. In fact, I was headed out the door the second this nutcase dropped his pants and started off his one-man act.
A friend looked to me and said, "Dude, can you believe that shit?"
"Well, considering Steve is in his late thirties and never dated and still lives at home, I'm not all that shocked. But at least that finally answers the question how he keeps his teeth so white."
Billy cracked up as I headed out the door. And as me and Jules were on our way home, the conversation continued.
"Baby, do you ever wish you could do that?"
"Suck Steve's dick? Naw, I'm good, sweetheart."
Jules shook her head. "You know what I meant, smartass."
"Suck my own dick? Nope. I never had a hankering for cock, honestly. And besides, what do you think I keep you around for?"
The joke had crossed the line and I ended up bunking with my old mutt Boozer on the couch.
Sometimes it's best to stop while you're ahead.
But being unfiltered has its setbacks, and sometimes we pay the price for a cheap laugh and find ourselves alone; penning lines or reading quasi-invite-only lit mags.
Oh, wait. Sorry. Seems I've crossed that invisible line again.
The pun was truly intended.