A Guide To Truck Stop Dharma by Scott Simmons

Drunken Texas asshole is a state of mind achieved only by proper mayonnaise saturation.
This involves coating body in the stinky white goo of Billy Ray Cyrus.

Then you must rub it in, rub it deeply in until you see a unicorn's golden shower.
As soon as it is in your sights you must attack with all of your ever lasting virginity.

Also I don't know why daddy doesn't love me anymore but I'm still pretty damn it!
Not that I'm desperate but will you please tell me I'm pretty?

Oh anyways yeah just drink the golden shower or whatever and get into a toaster oven
with a two bedrooms or something else that I quit giving a shit about like 5 minutes ago.

All I'm saying is that,
I'M STILL FUCKING SEXY DESPITE WHAT YOU TOLD ME YOU FUCKING BITCH!

SO "RUB THAT ONE IN" YOU FUCKING COUNTRY ASSHOLE!

Scott Simmons is an aspiring dental floss basket weaver/samurai cowboy located in Compton New Jersey with a severe masturbation addiction and a dick that is too small to find with a electron microscope. He is also available for rentals as a truffle hunting gimp that has discovered the magic of friendship and duct tape/rope if interested please contact Issac Newton at sexysciencebitch69#lickdeeznuts@yahoo.com