A Voice Mail from "Teddie Bear"

Hello you don't need to know my name.

But  I want to say that I really like you supper friend!

So that's why you should like totally not call the police on me.

Honestly I've never seen that corpse before in my life.

Yet that lovable little rascal somehow accidentally misplaced my knife into his head! 

I promise that I'm good snuggler who actually will listen to your problems.

And if I eat chunks of flesh from your body, I can hear you even better! 

Or we can even make some lovely cookies out of your freshly harvested entrails! 

Isn't our time together just so great little pal?

"Teddie Bear" was voted the most caring psychopath in the South Carolina Federal penitentiary and he volunteers as a guidance consular for troubled youths kidnapped in his magical basement summer camp. He has a PHD in Macaroni art and his real name is unknown but if you are reading this bio then he is probably behind you.