Don't Drink There Sugar Water ! by Tom Bagger

It is well known that sodas are unhealthy but the lesser-known danger is the mind control that is orchestrated by the umbrella man and the grays on their unwitting consumers. Although alien existence has been clear forever and can be seen on television shows like the Ed Sullivan show their motivations are often hard to read. However through research it is quite obvious that they want humanity to be in a constant orgy in order for all of the slapping of balls in the world to crack the electromagnetic sound barrier to their planet for an all out invasion. These illegal aliens from mars bought The Mythic Dawn (Now the Fanta Corporation) back in 20 A.D. from ancient Canadians in an attempt to infiltrate their elite members of society into the government. These traitors have also invested into Viagra chem trails for centuries and in more recent they have put aluminum/Uranusrium into the world’s soda supply. Only the vitamins of Male T can help protect you from this mind control and prevent you from enjoying the evils of all sex. Although there are many other shady UTB (a.k.a the C.I.A.) plots involving cheese, crack, and the pretty Sunday dresses that I like to wear but for my own safety this is all I can release for now. 

So Goodnight you beautiful people,

 The Unknown Poet.

Tom "Double" Bagger

Is a deeply mentally disturbed man who also is a Wings Stop enthusiast .

When not studying new conspiracy theories  he enjoys baking and watching the view while listening to John Tesh. 

He is always stirring shit at the frat and often trying to stop what he views as a CIA financed cult much like Nickelback .

The Unknown poet does bare a striking resemblance to a well known poet .

Once has led to the rumors he is actually Kanye West or John Travolta .

He is clearly out of his mind and off his meds.

There is also no truth that UTB has put a bounty out upon his head .

UTB is your friend .

UTB loves and only wants to protect you.

UTB will help you .

UTB is in no way a cult .

Tom Braggers publications include .

Asylum Press, I Pee Freely Qaurterly , The Old Perve In The Park Review , You Porn , Beaver Hunt , Poetry Magazine , Mental Health Monthly ,

Horror Sleaze Trash , It Doesn't Look Like Me Monthly ,.

And Pee Wee's Playhouse .

Avoid Tom At All Costs .

And remember UTB is you're Friend .

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