Ron Murphy is a complex man , most people are thrown off by the mask .
But don't we all hide behind a mask of some kind?
I mean Ron knows a few people and some very affordable hookers he wished wore a mask .
And then again some people simply belong in a cage like Scott Simmons .
But jokes aside sometimes even I miss the company of a good woman.
Nothing beats having someone to wash Ron's Ski Masks or cook his meals.
Or better yet shake her head and agree with everything I say .
And honestly it really is rough with the holidays coming up .
Because not having to pay for sex really saves money for the important things like high quality scotch and crack cocaine.
What silly reader did you believe I would actually buy little Ron Jr Christmas presents ?
You tell that little freeloader to ask the neighbor next door for something , being I believe that's who his real father is.
Yes sometimes when you look for a deeper meaning in a place where everything is a joke, even I have to laugh at your goofy ass.
But really when I joke to you fine men reading this magazine or ladies who have your husband explain the complex humor of a low class asshole afterwards.
It really warms that vacant place where a heart used to exist , which that cold hearted bitch ripped out.
Ron is sad and alone .
If you would like to comfort him , meaning .
Mix Ron's drinks and be rewarded in great conversation and disappointing sex .
Please email UTB with naked pics .
No names needed because really your name doesn't matter .
Ron Murphy is truly a man of the people.
You're Welcome!!!!
Ron Murphy
Is the golden voice of UTB .
And although not a poet he still finds time to write whole collections dedicated to his dark adventures .
You may have heard his voice over work on many a after school special and his recent add for Mickeys Fine Malt Liqour .
He is currently wanted for back child support and some minor drug trafficking charges .
He is always offensive and highly mentally unstable .
You're welcome!!!
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