My Scroll Is Bigger Than Yours. By Rathnar Kilbane

           

Never cross swords by the fire or rub your sticks together in fear of catching the curse of the soft ones .

The mighty Rathnar needs not to brag.

For that is the job of my singing wench .

I am not just killing and writing of my blood thirsty quests .

Yes you may have many collections evil troll .

But I wash my hands in the ale of the old ones and wear the tooth of the witch of knowledge around my neck.

And no matter under what tree you hide .

Always remember. 

My scroll Is bigger than yours .

Praise the Rathnar .

                        Rathnar Kilbane

Is a Viking poet legend he has written many scrolls and killed many fans at his notorious reading raids across the foreign lands.

He seeks the mighty troll of knowledge so he may claim his eye and consume his flesh to gain his powers and get a Sam's Club membership .

He is still seeking a publisher for his most recent scroll .

And promises not to kill this publisher like the his previous ones .

He enjoys raiding poets villages and bonefires and mating with his many wives .

And is working on launching his own Scandavian Fried Wolf Franchise .

If only those assholes at Peta would stop busting his balls .