I have been staying in my lodge and have protected myself with a virgin flesh mask, to avoid this evil sorcery from the kingdom of China.
The mighty Rathnar was getting cranky from days spent indoors not killing or raping.
So the sea witch of Michigan recommend I look into her cyber crystal ball and showed me the wonders of fine sorcery called Pornhub Premium.
The Mighty Rathnar witnessed many fine wenches doing many beautifully twisted acts and soon had Rathnar eagerly stroking his long sword in approval.
The Mighty Rathnar enjoyed it so much he soon realized this was dark magic, to distract Rathnar to his true purpose in life.
Conquering poetic kingdoms and killing his many loyal followers.
So I did what any rational bloodthirsty Warlord would do in this situation.
I had the sea witch burned at the steak.
And smashed her digital crystal ball and have banned them all from my kingdom.
As we have managed to avoid the virus curse by bathing in golden showers from the piss of the cave troll of Nebraska.
Now we shall set sail to rape and kill and cannibalize like real Norse men.
Soon I will take the magic kingdom I hear it's unguarded.
Avoid this sorcery of the Pornhub, burn all sea witches and enjoy your killing.
All hail the Rathnar.
Rathnar Kilbane, is the poet laureate of Iceland a title he has held since he killed the last one at the age of seven.
When not working on his great scroll he enjoys raiding poetic kingdoms and killing his loyal subjects at his now infamous poetry readings.
He enjoys drinking mead and screwing the night away with his many wives.
He also collects fine art and enjoys smooth jazz.
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